bone movie jeff smith

True story:

�im used being the good kind of friend that you always wanted to have. The kind of friend that would listen to your problems. The kind of friend you would look up to be cause i wouldnt do all the stupid things you did but make good choices. I wouldnt hook up with that guy you like or any guy at all, or talk shit behind your back. Id let you tell me who you liked when we were in middle school and high school. And keep it a secret but never tell you who i liked in return. Iapos;d be the "innocent best friend". The girl that could do no wrong. The big hearted best friend you would take advantage of. Id let you too just cause thats how much i cared about you.

iapos;d always be that good friend as the years passed by. Some of you would leave me as if i did something wrong a move on to something or someone better. And i still plasterd that smile on my face and pretend that i didnt stay up all night crying cause a few of you left me. Id still pretend im okay when i was really dead on the inside. And soon ill move away from all of you. And start over in a new town.

i quit you all when i moved to LE. I found some new friends. They became my best friends. But soon it was all the same story. They didnt want me the same as all the others. So some others came and rescued me. Now they were my new best friends so they said. We became close and experimented together when we got into high school. And with those experiments i met some new friends also. 16 when i had my first ciggarette with them. 16 when i started drinking with them. I liked these friends. They made life so much more fun and so much more hard. Check my breath before i go home and make sure my clothes dont smell of smoke. Mom and dad wont notice.

those same friends left like all the rest. A few stayed behind but� im alone like before. This time i have alcohol to keep me company. A few ibeprofine too.� its not that bad. Summer school came around. I made new friends. Didnt drink so much. It was great but it ended too soon. So did most of those friendships. I met my new bestie at a play. We took pills the first night we hung out. We became close friends cause we didnt have anybody. We drank together. Hung out together. Popped pills together. I still had other friends come back into my life too. Not to mention i met an amazing boy. I drank more. Popped pills more. My best friend left me cause i was out of control. I didnt care i kept doing what i felt like.

i was addicted to drugs and alcohol. It made me feel good. It was my life because in the end it was always the addiction lasting longer than my friends did. Someone always left me. No one was ever a constant in my life. I was so used to being abandoned so much that i turned to something harmful to fill the void.

but then........


after being past out on a floor in someones bathroom feeling like i could die at any given moment, someone in my head told me i couldnt live like this anymore. I got a wake up call, a prayer, and a bible� a month an a half after my graduation. i gave my heart to god and he began to fix my life. I got my bestie back even if we arent as close as we used to be after so many hard times, he fixed my relationship with my boyfriend and is helping me try to lead him to christ, and he has given me a more filling life and the best friends i could ever ask for.

[[Psalm 40:2-3]]
"he lifted me out of the pit of dispair,out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as i walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our god. many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the lord."

i believe in god with all my heart. Following him has not been easy but i would not take my choice to make jesus my lord and savior back for anything this world could possibly give me. Through him i am able to do all the things i never thought could happen to me in my life time. I am thankful.


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